Burbles and Murmurs – What we think when our minds wander

(Disclaimer – This post is of wild thoughts and of senseless ramblings. Don’t waste your time reading this. But if you do, I would love you forever.)

Whenever I feel a little lonely, I look up to the skies and think about all these silly things that would obviously never happen for me. I would think about money bearing plants and if ever the trees surrounding me could reach the moon and take me there. I would think about aliens and how weird it is that they still haven’t made contact with us (if ever they really exist) or if they did and why no one is talking about it. I think about the woman walking in front of me who was rushing and who seemed to be feeling bad about something because of the frown she was wearing. What was she thinking about? Why was she rushing? Is she in trouble? Should I ask her? I don’t think I’ll ever know. Maybe, I didn’t really care or maybe I did.


I walk more and I see all these people big and small, male and female, who have their own separate lives, not caring about anyone who isn’t a priority. Not caring about the people who was passing them by, not caring about the different vehicles honking by the side, not caring about me. 

Me, who was with them at that same area, breathing the same air, smelling the same scent of the wind. Me, who was busy thinking about what other people were thinking about. Do you think that I was creepy? Just standing there staring at them? Looking at people and thinking about what they’re thinking about? 

I stop and sit on a nearby bench and I open my phone’s camera and take pictures of what I was seeing. I see people lining up for ice cream at a dirty Ice cream cart, I see people waiting for cabs. I see kids running around holding their toys and their parents pursuing them, making sure they don’t get into trouble. I wish there would always be someone taking care of us, someone to make sure we don’t get in trouble, that we don’t get hurt, but life doesn’t work that way. We grow up and part of growing up means being able to handle ourselves — Being able to survive on our own. I wonder who *the hell* ever made up a rule like that. Do we grow up so that we could take care of ourselves or do we take care of ourselves to grow up? Is it selfish to wish for someone to take care of us? To protect us? 

I laugh because it’s funny how people are always thinking about themselves and what they need. I laugh more because I remembered I was one of them — who doesn’t want the best for themselves right? Who doesn’t prioritize their own needs? I look back again at those kids playing around. They’re fighting now, I guess because of one of the kids didnt wanna share his toy. How sad. Fighting over a toy. When countries and leaders fight over power, riches and lands. I wonder, how significant am i? How irrelevant are my problems? How much do I matter for someone living in spain? I dont.  

And then I get a text from a friend about something that was interesting and everything that I was busy thinking about the past few minutes vanished like the sun on a sunset. Never to be known by others, never to matter.

What about you? What do you do when you feel a little blue? Are you just like me? I really hope so.

Let’s converse. Hit me with your comments/questions/rants down at the comments section. I’ll be waiting! 🙂

Embracing Rejection

At 6:00 AM the other day, the shuttle service I was going to ride had no seats available. 9:00 AM of the same day, the elevator wouldn’t close because it was too heavy and since I was the closest to the elevator door, I had to go out and wait for the next one. Rejected again, I thought. Last night, my best friend, messaged me about being sad she wasn’t included to attend a business meeting. And just this morning, my sister complained about how her professors were so strict about deadlines — rejecting her output. Every day, whoever you may be or where ever you are, we are faced with a thousand different choices that may or may not lead to rejection. 

These rejections, whether they be as big as wedding or business proposals or small ones like homework submissions or elevator ones like what I had experienced, can all and will surely make us feel sad or dejected. But was it really meant to make us feel like losers? Was rejection a way for the universe or the higher beings (whatever it is you believe in) to put us in our place and let us realize how much we’re lacking? Or was it meant to teach us a lesson?

I remember my mother telling me about this “Winner’s Mantra”. I don’t entirely remember the words correctly, but to sum it all up, it was telling me and whoever heard the mantra to “never accept rejection. Only winners survive and succeed”. I was sure it was meant to heal hearts broken by rejection and I appreciate my mother’s attempt to make me feel better, but something about it seems off to me. Like it was escaping what happened and making yourself believe that winning and acceptance were the only options. It made rejection look bad, unacceptable and something that is only okay if you’ve already given up on achieving anything. 

That, my friend, is something I cannot accept.

Think about it. If all parents would say this mantra to their children and those children would share it to their friends, wouldn’t it create a community of winners and hard workers? That’s something I would like to think. But if you’re already a veteran of reality and you know how hard life is then you would know that not everyone can be successful and winners. 

For competitions, there is a set of criteria to determine who the champion would be — there can be two champions in some incidents but there can never be three or twelve. For jobs and careers, only one person can be the best, the CEO or president — again there are some corporations with two or three bosses of the same level and power but not every worker can be the boss. Get the drift? There will always be a winner and if there’s a winner, a loser is sure to be around. I can use as many analogies and comparisons as I can and it would only mean one thing. Winners get the prize and losers can cry all night.

So what then can the rejected losers and those not good enough do? Chardy, what the hell is your point? 

Drum roll please. . .

I’m sure you’ve heard this somewhere before. I would just like to re-emphasize it.

You embrace rejection. You learn from it. You make it your own and you use it as a stepping stone to succeed the next time you try. This may seem cheesy or cliché for you but I would gladly and whole heartedly accept this more than pretending that rejection and losing can mean the end of the world for me.

Maybe you wake up ahead of the alarm and go to work 30 minutes earlier than you usually do to get a seat. Maybe you edit the business proposal 3 hundred more times or take a different approach before you submit an output. Maybe rejection was meant to tell you that you can do better. That you’re almost there? Or maybe rejection is telling you that this isn’t for you and that there are other things, people or jobs that you can explore and experience.

I would like to believe that everything that happens in our life was meant to happen. That a strange mechanism somewhere is making sure that we are where we’re supposed to be. Destiny, if we must name it. In my heart, I honestly believe that destiny is real but I also believe that in order for things to happen, we must take destiny into our hands and learn to control our fates. Because who else will?

Phew, this was a really long rant. And i’m pretty sure I didn’t make any sense at all. If you lost interest halfway through what I was saying or you decided to scroll down to the end, here’s the summary to whatever I was trying to say ->

Embrace Rejection. Learn from it, make it your own and use it as a stepping stone to succeed the next time you try. You may not always win and being rejected may be something that’s regular for you but doesn’t that show how much perseverance you have? If you keep on being rejected, doesn’t that mean that you also keep on trying? 

I would rather be the person who always get rejected but keeps on trying and learns from it than a person who wins but never actually get to develop character and attitude. Schools should change their standards. It’s either you succeed or you learn from it. Not fail. Never fail. Don’t you think?

Dealing with Self Doubt

We all have that one person in our lives who just cant seem to stop having it all. He can be your brother, who bags all the academic medals and brings all the glory to the family, your college blocmate who perfects all the tests and is friends with almost everyone at school or your best friend who always seems to be in a relationship. This person, whoever he or she is can be someone you really love or adore but you just can’t seem to kick out the feeling of wanting to be where that person is. Call it jealousy, insecurity or whatever you want. All you really know is that whatever it is you feel towards that person, it is making you feel unsure about yourself— self doubt they call it.

Continue reading “Dealing with Self Doubt”