We all have that one person in our lives who just cant seem to stop having it all. He can be your brother, who bags all the academic medals and brings all the glory to the family, your college blocmate who perfects all the tests and is friends with almost everyone at school or your best friend who always seems to be in a relationship. This person, whoever he or she is can be someone you really love or adore but you just can’t seem to kick out the feeling of wanting to be where that person is. Call it jealousy, insecurity or whatever you want. All you really know is that whatever it is you feel towards that person, it is making you feel unsure about yourself— self doubt they call it.
You may think that it only happens to you, but darling, I assure you, this happens to all of us. (Unless you’re really perfect or you live on a lonely island away from civilization) It doesn’t matter if you’re the prettiest girl at your high school prom or the best shooter of your basketball team, heck, even if you’re the prince of England. Every one who has ever been through puberty and adolescence has surely slept past their bed times, thinking of all the wrong things about themselves and why they cant be like those sexy models on the magazines or those guys who seem to have it all on television.
If you have ever experienced “self doubt” or is currently experiencing it, then this message is written entirely for you. For us.
The perks of already getting through high school and surviving to reach the age of 20 is that I can proudly say that I’ve been through almost all the immaturity and petty drama that high school and puberty can throw at me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I’ll still be facing challenges that will determine my maturity in the future. (Who doesn’t have problems? Right?) It’s like playing a video game where you’re the hero and your problems are like bosses that you have to defeat. To put it in simple terms, my teenage bosses have already been defeated. Things like knowing what friendship is, backstabbing, identity crisis and teenage angst. (With difficulty. For sure) and I can proudly say that they have made me stronger and more ready for the challenges to come. (Think of me as a level 15 hero who just learned how to climb a mountain.)
Sadly, just like in video games, bosses can rise up and return even stronger than before— Maybe, even more difficult for you to handle this time around. For me, this is self doubt and even though I have assured myself a lot before and family and friends have helped me discover what my strengths are in the past, self doubt just keeps on over taking me.
Dealing with “self doubt” can be tiring. Sometimes, there aren’t even anyone you feel jealous or insecure about. Self doubt targets you and who you are and if you let it affect how you think, then even the strongest of heroes will fall.
Here are the sure fire ways to win against self doubt. (PS: Be ready for video game references.)
1. Acknowledge Self Doubt – This begins with acknowledging the fact that there is something about you that you don’t like. Knowing who you are and what you feel is the first step. Next step is knowing how you can change or improve those things you don’t like about yourself. You may say words like, “Love yourself or I am who I am” but if you really feel that something about you isn’t helping you to grow then there must be something you have to change. Change is good. We should learn to strive for it.
2. Call A friend – Whenever things get rough, family and real friends would always be there to support and help you out. Having their feedback and comments about you or what you’re worried about can be your fastest avenue to drive away self doubt. This is like forming an RPG Party! Of Course, take in consideration who you ask, there are those who can make your worries even bigger or worst— those who love you will help you through your problems not push you further down.
3. Battle Self Doubt – Hack and slash it all away, you are the only one responsible with how you feel. If you let yourself be troubled by insecurities or self doubt then nothing can make you feel better. If you face it head on and accept that there are things about you that you have to improve then you’re already half way into defeating self doubt.
There may be times when self doubt defeats you, times when you feel like every one else is way better than you in whatever aspect in life there is and there are times when you triumph against it. The battle with self doubt is long and difficult. You will encounter it several times in your life but, by looking at it on a positive note, self doubt may be there to knock some sense into you and help you improve something about yourself and your life.
Always remember my friend, “It gets better, everything will eventually get better.”