This Time Last Year

This time last year I was afraid. I was afraid of all the things I still didn’t know, of the people that might harm me and of the things I would lose when I decided to study at a university so far away from home.

This time last year I was juggling between new friends and not-so-new friends; gathering people who, just like me, were alone in a new environment. Testing the waters and trying to learn who would leave after the party or who would stay to clean up the mess.

This time last year I was a fool; thinking I could survive in a competitive school with just the limited knowledge I had.

I pretended that the little time I used for studying was enough to pass my exams and to succeed in my chosen course.

This time last year I was thrilled. Thrilled to try the different things in life I could do and I could learn. The places I could go to and the money I could spend on useless things that would never last, not even taking into consideration the sacrifice that my parents were doing to provide all those luxuries and the work they had to endure.

This time last year I was confused. I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t give enough attention to my priorities and the promises that I’ve made. I didn’t know that the time I was wasting could have been used on things which mattered.

This time last year I was in love. At least I thought I was. I was obsessing over a person who didn’t give a fuck at all. I wasted my time trying to become someone I wasn’t, just so I could get the attention I wanted.  I made things difficult for me and my friends, ultimately leading some of them away and some even against me.

This time last year I was nineteen. Back then I thought everything was falling apart, that the universe was against me in all aspects of life. I thought I was being punished for being foolish, for being insecure. I was wrong. It was teaching me a lesson.

Now, a year later, I look back on everything that happened. I realize that without them all, I wouldn’t be the person I am today, writing on this blog.

It’s funny how time can change who you are and what you feel without you noticing it. It may surprise you when you realize that just a minute ago, you were a freshman, touring the campus and discovering the wonders of college. Then suddenly, you’re a sophomore, already a veteran in the battle of life, already prepared for what’s coming next.

Whatever it is that you are currently experiencing would certainly be a funny or a painful memory in just a few weeks.  And whether you like it or not, time will catch up to you no matter how fast you run. You will realize that yesterday will be a part of the past, something that you can always look back at but can never go back to.

Everything happens for a reason and it either hurts you or saves you. When time passes by every bit of those feelings would turn into a photo displayed or a diary entry forever kept in your personal drawers, until you look at it again. So if ever you’re going through anything bad or negative, don’t worry. This too shall pass and everything would definitely change for the better. Trust me. Change is something that you can never avoid,  you can either embrace it or forever be left in the past.

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Do you still remember anything from this time last year? What was happening back then and what were you feeling? Do you remember all the problems that you were thinking about last year? Does it still bother you now? I would love to hear them! Share it with us through a comment. Thank you for reading!

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