Burbles and Murmurs – What we think when our minds wander

(Disclaimer – This post is of wild thoughts and of senseless ramblings. Don’t waste your time reading this. But if you do, I would love you forever.)

Whenever I feel a little lonely, I look up to the skies and think about all these silly things that would obviously never happen for me. I would think about money bearing plants and if ever the trees surrounding me could reach the moon and take me there. I would think about aliens and how weird it is that they still haven’t made contact with us (if ever they really exist) or if they did and why no one is talking about it. I think about the woman walking in front of me who was rushing and who seemed to be feeling bad about something because of the frown she was wearing. What was she thinking about? Why was she rushing? Is she in trouble? Should I ask her? I don’t think I’ll ever know. Maybe, I didn’t really care or maybe I did.


I walk more and I see all these people big and small, male and female, who have their own separate lives, not caring about anyone who isn’t a priority. Not caring about the people who was passing them by, not caring about the different vehicles honking by the side, not caring about me. 

Me, who was with them at that same area, breathing the same air, smelling the same scent of the wind. Me, who was busy thinking about what other people were thinking about. Do you think that I was creepy? Just standing there staring at them? Looking at people and thinking about what they’re thinking about? 

I stop and sit on a nearby bench and I open my phone’s camera and take pictures of what I was seeing. I see people lining up for ice cream at a dirty Ice cream cart, I see people waiting for cabs. I see kids running around holding their toys and their parents pursuing them, making sure they don’t get into trouble. I wish there would always be someone taking care of us, someone to make sure we don’t get in trouble, that we don’t get hurt, but life doesn’t work that way. We grow up and part of growing up means being able to handle ourselves — Being able to survive on our own. I wonder who *the hell* ever made up a rule like that. Do we grow up so that we could take care of ourselves or do we take care of ourselves to grow up? Is it selfish to wish for someone to take care of us? To protect us? 

I laugh because it’s funny how people are always thinking about themselves and what they need. I laugh more because I remembered I was one of them — who doesn’t want the best for themselves right? Who doesn’t prioritize their own needs? I look back again at those kids playing around. They’re fighting now, I guess because of one of the kids didnt wanna share his toy. How sad. Fighting over a toy. When countries and leaders fight over power, riches and lands. I wonder, how significant am i? How irrelevant are my problems? How much do I matter for someone living in spain? I dont.  

And then I get a text from a friend about something that was interesting and everything that I was busy thinking about the past few minutes vanished like the sun on a sunset. Never to be known by others, never to matter.

What about you? What do you do when you feel a little blue? Are you just like me? I really hope so.

Let’s converse. Hit me with your comments/questions/rants down at the comments section. I’ll be waiting! 🙂

How-to : Have Better Conversations

Looking for inspiration and enlightenment, I turned to the internet for help. I was feeling lost about the coming exam week and I wasn’t sure I was ready to start studying for it. I came upon this Video by TED talks and I was surprised by how much it affected me. My life, (In my opinion) has never been the same. It’s by Celeste Headlee. I don’t really know who she is and what she’s done but gee, she has really turned my “social life upside down and that was only  12 mins of watching her talk.

Her topic was all about communication and interacting with people. You may think that this topic has already been worn-out and had been talked about for a million times already — and to be honest, it has been. Almost all the advice that people can think of about conversations had already been given, recycled and repackaged. So what’s so special about this one? What did she say to have so much effect?

I have read articles about “Making people love you” “Trust you more” and “Have better interactions” and they always usually start with cliche sentences like — “Be interested in what he/she is interested in”, “Give effort to study about what the person likes and like it as well”. At first it really did work out. People are more interested in conversing and hanging out with me and the usual awkward exchange of hi’s and hello’s would transform to 4 hours of phone calls and comments on photos. It works, it really does. 

But what if it doesn’t? And what if the person you’re interested in, have interests that can not or will not give you the spark and the energy to talk about with him/her? What if you you dont have the luxury to involve yourself with their interest? Doesn’t it feel insincere whenever you pretend to like something because you like person you’re talking to? The speaker’s answer? 

DON’T. Don’t converse.

Caffe bene Light bulbs. Photo by me.

Here’s 6 of the tips I liked about Celeste’s talk and my very own take on them.

1. Stop the BS. If you don’t want to talk, dont. Never Multi-task.

This, for me, was a gold mine. It’s so simple yet it made so much sense. How do you make better conversations? If you don’t want to talk, you’re not interested about the topic or just don’t like the person, Don’t. People, your friends or family deserves your whole attention. Deserves someone who’s interested in talking and to respond, if you’re not that person, then don’t talk. It’s either you wont really understand what you’re talking about, you won’t pay attention or it wouldn’t really matter. I agree with this so much. No one deserves half-hearted conversations. Why should anyone pretend they’re interested. Right?

Caffe bene @ Eastwood Libis. Photo by me

2. It’s two-way. Participate.

Congratulations if you had decided to converse then here are two things you have to remember — Respond and Be honest/Frank.

It’s actually really easy. It’s called “talking” because you guys are exchanging ideas, feelings and comments. The conversation will be so much better if both of you are honest with each other and if you guys are really participating in it. Ask questions. Say how you really truly feel. Be part of it. If you can’t then stop. 

3.  Listen

This is actually requirement if you want to converse. Listen because you won’t understand if you don’t. Listen because you will learn. Listen because there are so many people who makes mistakes when they don’t. Listen because you are interested. It all revolves around this.

4.  Do not pretend like you know.

There are two things in this item that I wanna share.
A. When talking about feelings/confessions/memories
Don’t ever pretend like you know how it feels when you don’t. A lot of advice for topics like these would say — “Agree” make the person feel like you know what it feels, you understand what it felt like.” Most of the time, doing this would make you look insincere. If you don’t know how it feels, don’t act like you do. Yes, you’re looking for common ground and similarities but remember — we’re talking about honesty and sincerity here. Feelings are different for everyone. Explore those differences. That would make a good conversation topic. 
B. When talking about facts/events/information.
It’s going to look really funny when someone says things that are inaccurate or false just to prove his/her wits or “excellence”. If you don’t know what happened at the end of the Harry Potter series, don’t proclaim that you do. If you haven’t read the case analysis of a certain incident, don’t pretend that you do. How humiliating it must be to be proven wrong when you confidently state something false and get found out. I know how this feels and I have been through this a lot of times. How I wish I could have just said “I didn’t know.” than debate and be proven wrong. Making mistakes is a learning process but admitting you didn’t know when you don’t is also something we should practice.

5. Be open to learn



Have you heard of the saying — “Everyone is fighting a battle, be kind always.”?

When conversing, be open to learn. Be open to ideas and emotions of other people. You may agree or disagree, you may not like what he/she is saying but isn’t that one of the things that make conversations better? Diversity is what develops our critical thinking. When you’re open to learn, new perspectives may arise for you. You get to see things better (or worst), you can see things and understand things from the view point of someone else. It’s like being there yourself. When you’re open to learn, you grow. And honestly, someone who’s open to know more about what you’ve been to is so much easier to talk with. 

6. Get ready to share who you are.

At the same time, being open to someone else’s ideas and feelings means that you must also be open to share who you are to that person. Remember that a conversation is an exchange. It’s an avenue for you and the person you’re talking to, to get to know more about each other and learn things. Be a person who not only listens but also shares and participate. Be someone who people talk to because you’re someone they learn from, you’re a person they get advice from. When you do this, you have already achieved a “better conversation”.

Caffe Bene @ Eastwood, Libis. Photo by me
 
You can watch more TED talks videos by visiting their website at Ted Website

And you can also follow their facebook at www.facebook.com/TED and twitter @ www.twitter.com/tednews


Are you having problems with your self-esteem? Need a little boost? Here’s a post I made just for us who know how ot feels to doubt ourselves. Read it with me here – Dealing with Self-Doubt ❤️

Watch the video above and also share with me what you think. How did you like this post? Did you learn anything? Is there something you also want to share? Hit me up at the comments section below. ⬇️

My Media Diagnosis 

(Disclaimer – This post is created solely for my DEVC 80 class and is an Academic requirement.)


An everyday necessity, Media is second nature to Millenials

My day starts at 6 AM. Having my classes starting at 8 AM, had brainwashed me into waking up on or before 6AM. Knowing me and my rituals, I would say, I need more than 1 hour to prepare and make me as “Chardy” as possible for that day. Ofcourse this would mean a 20 minutes bath, lotion sessions, make-up (just right for school) and style what I will wear for the day. Automatically, after concluding my morning rituals, I grab my phone to check on the latest happenings on my social media accounts, my mail for academic and work stuff and my messages for any texts that may be important. I may occasionally post a “Good morning” tweet on my twitter just for fun or check my Instagram to see who’s already posted a selfie or a picture that may describe their recent adventures. At 8 AM, I make sure I have everything I need for class and I leave.

Social media has always been a part of my daily life. Going back 10 years from now, these “Media Rituals” would have been absurd. No normal person would be spending 30 minutes and more looking at a screen. But today, almost everyone is on the loop. All you need is a smart phone, a network connection or WiFi, installed apps and voila, worldwide connection.

Checking my phone for updates on family, friends or news is done (most of the time) involuntarily. It’s second nature for me and I believe I’m talking for most of the members of my generation when I say that having and using media is something I need to survive —- or atleast to survive a boring day or activity.

But do we really need it in order to survive? And if we do, how much “media” do we consume and what for?

For our Communication and Society class for the past months, we had been discussing about the media that surrounds our life. How media is affecting who we are and how we think and what are the theories that are complementing these media. The questions I have mentioned in the previous paragraph was given to us at class and ever since then I have been anxious to reveal how dependent I am of media and its uses.


My Media Diagnosis

Our task was to strictly examine how much media we were consuming for five straight days and were to list down every type of media we were exposed to and make a reflection about how it affected us and why. We were also to list down observations on how each exposure was affecting how we behaved, talked or what we thought about. Interesting right? Take a pen and paper and try to see how I did my diagnosis.

Day 1 and 2 – October 8 and 9, 2016

These days were Saturday and Sunday, which means I had most of the day to myself for fun, recreation and games. I wasn’t worried about academics at these days so my Media usage was immense and different forms of media were used. Saturday, I started the moment I woke up at 10 AM. I browsed my phone and opened the usual apps I used daily, namely Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, WordPress and Edmodo. After 2 hours of that, just lying on my bed, I went to the living room to eat and opened the Television to watch something while I was eating. After lunch, I opened my PS3 Gaming console and played video games until 5 PM and then took a break. At 8:30 PM I was already using my phone to open Social Media sites until I fell asleep.

Here’s my consumption table : 


 

Conclusion for Day 1 – 2 = Media Addict + Social Media Lurker. My whole day was spent on using media and the gadgets that catered to them. I failed to do anything that had no relation to the internet and aside from eating and showering, I had my phone on my hand the whole time.(Seeesh, talk about being an addict.)

Day 3 -4, October 10 -11, 2016

My day started immediately after turning off my alarm. At 5:45 AM I started to proceed with my rituals and at 6:25 I was already holding my phone for my updates. I have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, WordPress App and Edmodo automatically opened and for the rest of the day these were the most frequent apps that I have used.

Here’s my Consumption table :

 

Conclusion for day 3-4 = I was a kick ass social media user. Making sure I open every app that I have followers or friends that I needed to check updates on or just stalk. Some media were opened for a legitimate purpose but  some were just for the sake of checking updates. The content that I saw was prevailing on my thoughts for the whole day. For example: The video of “Top horror movies you should watch” that I saw on Facebook had me wary of who might be looking at me.

Day 5, October 12, 2016

The last day of my experiement, I wanted to believe that I had learned something from my little experiment and had tried to avoid the use of any media for that day. At 6AM – 8 AM, I had turned the WiFi option off in my phone and was pleased to discover that I didnt have an addiction with mobile apps. Unfortunately, to my dismay, I recieved calls and text messages that a few of my groupmates sent in order to remind me about deadlines and activties that we needed to do for that day. I opened my Facebook for the updates and headed immediately to edmodo to get a copy of that lecture presentation I needed to study. While downloading I sneaked in on my twitter to tweet about how exhausted I am for that day. And my last consumption was when I opened my Facebook messenger, just before I went to bed, to message my mom about family matters.

Here’s my Consumption table :


 

Conclusion for day 5

Small steps towards redemption – My willingness to reduce my media exposure was a bit helpful in controlling myself from using my phone. I was able to reduce my normal 8-9 hours of social media sites like facebook to 3.5 hours and twitter to less than 1 hour. Een though I had a mishap with my groupmates contacting me, I felt a bit refreshed from not having my face glued to my phone . 

Results

Based on the number of hours I’ve spent using social media and other gadgets, I can say that I’m unfortunately an addict. Regardless of how I controlled myself, I still found myself  opening the apps and updating myself with the recent happenings around my country, friends and school. This only implies that every news and information I get are taken entirely from social media and television. My stories, activities and work all revolve around the internet and having a connection. This makes me feel afraid. How addicted am i? What do I do if the internet suddenly disappears? How do I cope with not being on the loop of the recent happenings and lastly, would I be happier? If I no longer depended on the internet and social medias? Or is it really a deciding factor in my life? 
Lessons :

1. Making observations about actions and habits that we do, makes one more knowledgable not only about the self but also about other people.

2.  Making lists are fun and they incite creativity and productivity.

3. What you frequently do or use can say something about you.

4. Media is a double edged sword that can save the world or destroy it. It changes minds and control them.

5. We have the power to control our consumption and exposure of Media and Social media.

6. Media is not almighty, it’s not entirely good. It depends on how we take advantage of it, 

7.  Education is key. (Just for the sake of adding this.) Nothing helps more to Self control than being knowledgable and really gathering information.

8. Media is viewed and used differently for every individual. Do it the correct way.
What about you? Have you ever tried knowing your media usage and performing a Media diagnosis? I liked how much it changed me and my perspective.  We should all get checked. 
Thanks for dropping by! ❤️

5 Things I Learned from my Strong Mother

To all the mother’s boys, mommy’s princesses and everyone who has a love/hate relationship with your mommas, this post is for you. No, it’s not yet Mother’s day but hey, do you have to wait for that once in a year event to show how much you love your mom?
Right. Read on. ❤️

Whenever I find myself at the center of attention, may it be because of an award or an acknowledgement for something good I did, I often think about attributing the recognition to my mother. You know how, like whenever I get awarded medals, I would in an imaginary way think of the situation as me awarding the medal to my mother. (Is it just me or is that really a thing?) Most of you may agree with me when I say that, “wherever I am, whatever my title is or whatever recognition I get awarded with, it will always still lead back to my mother and what she had taught me. No matter how talented, how powerful and how famous you are, the one person to thank, for being able to get there is your mother. None other than her. (You can replace mother with father, grandfather, grand mother, uncle or aunt if this doesn’t suit your experience.)
I know there are times (I’m sorry but this is real mom) when they’re annoying, sometimes controlling and most of the time judgmental of your choices, your friends and that Friday night out outfit you’re so eager to wear and look miserable in, but aren’t they just looking out for us? Trying to prevent us from making the same mistakes they did or have heard from other amigas? There may be times when they really wouldn’t make any sense but trust me when I tell you that, sooner or later you’re going to realize how correct your mother is and how stupid it is that you even got angry at her for giving you advice.
If you’re like me, who’s blessed to have such an amazing mother, here are the top 5 things I learned from a strong and independent mother.
1. “Nothing is wrong with over preparing. A bigger bag full of things you can use is better than a stylish one that doesn’t have any use.”
I would always find myself arguing with my mom about bringing an extra shirt, any kind of extra clothing, or umbrellas whenever I think I don’t need it and end up being regretful that I didn’t heed my mother’s advice. Call it a lucky guess or psychic powers but when I didn’t bring an umbrella to school just like what my mother advised, I ended up walking a thousand miles, soaking wet, going home. After that, even the extra underwear, I’m definitely sure would not be needed, has a space in any bag I bring.

2. Gratitude and appreciation goes a long way. Longer than the time it takes to pass through EDSA on a rush hour. Cultivate gratitude.

Mother always take the time to show appreciation to all the people who had helped us in anyway. May it be hired service or just genuine kindness, my mother had taught us to repay or appreciate those people in any way possible. This exchange in support and kindness creates a cycle of love that extends throughout time. Whenever in trouble, we could always find a friend or a past client to provide assistance to us. No hassle.

3. You may have all the friends and fans there is in the world but no one can be as honest and blunt to you than your mother can.

Yup. I have experienced those times when I feel like the prettiest, sexiest, the most attractive person in the world. Sporting my ripped jeans, floral polos and extremely heavy boots, I would hear my friends tell me how fashionable and cool I look. You would think that your mother would definitely approve of this. But no, definitely No. Not my mother. You may hate her for not supporting “who you are” and what your style is, (I know because I had and sometimes even now, we still fight about it) but maybe, just maybe take a look in the mirror and gauge closely if this is how you want to be seen. 50% yes you look fierce but is the other 50% catering to appropriateness and decency? Also, are you going to the church??? Because your family and friends may approve of that sexy chic look but everyone else may not be as understanding.

Anyway, point is, your mother would know what’s best for you. Maybe you can understand a little more if she gets angry at that metallic bra you’re wearing because it makes you look 1964 try-hard scifi film. Hey, Not everyone can understand art, at least you can right? Kudos to mom for telling you an honest, not jealous comment. She’s looking out for you.

4. No, does not mean “I’m not letting you because I’m not fun/I’m boring/I have no friends or I want you to be miserable.” No, is not some power trip. It’s worry and care.

There will be times when we get invited by friends to travel to far away places, hang out at like 3 in the morning with the coolest kids in the block or party all night and “yolo” the semester away. If you’re like me, who still values permission and yes, still ask for weekly allowances then you surely have experienced a devastating “No, you’re not allowed”. I don’t have anyway to make this look good or cool to you because hey, I hate it when my parent’s don’t allow me to join in on the fun but there really is a reason why. If you find it in your heart to actually listen to your mom/parents then you’d know they’re just worried about what may happen and the scary recent events that had happened to the place you’re planning on going to OR the amigas of manila have chika’d to your mom about the bad insects living in that place. Summary is, she’s not letting you go and there’s a lot of reasons for that. Not because she’s cruel or doesn’t have any friends. Chill!

5. “Papunta ka palang, pabalik na ako ng sampung beses” – Where Ever you’re going, I’ve been there and back ten times more. 
I’m not sure if that’s the right translation but what I’m trying to say is that, our mother’s have definitely been through a lot. This may be because of her age or because of all the different work she had to do. She has experienced so much and trust me when I tell you that she’s credible when she’s giving you advice about all the different things in your life. You may heed or advice or not. I know, I’ve been through times when I don’t listen to her and I follow my own decisions. It’s wonderful, knowing you can do whatever you want and follow your own choices but there were times when I wished I followed her and what she had to say instead. Maybe things would have been better for me. Our mothers may not always be right, but they’re surely looking out for us, for you. If ever you find yourself wanting to disobey your mom or just ignore her warnings., think twice. Why would she even give effort to scold you? Is it for her or is it for you?
Who you are right now, what you’ve been doing or thinking, half of it or more may be because of who was there when you were growing up. Lucky for me, I have been with my mother for the 20 years that I’ve been alive. Call me a Mother’s boy and I would definitely wear the title with Honor. I’m thankful for my mom and everything I’ve learned, accomplished and experienced, I thank my mom for all of it. For who I am.

What about you? What are the things that you’re thankful to your mom for? How much has she influenced who you are? Share it to us down at the comments section. Share this with your Mom and friends!
Thanks for dropping by! ❤️

Embracing Rejection

At 6:00 AM the other day, the shuttle service I was going to ride had no seats available. 9:00 AM of the same day, the elevator wouldn’t close because it was too heavy and since I was the closest to the elevator door, I had to go out and wait for the next one. Rejected again, I thought. Last night, my best friend, messaged me about being sad she wasn’t included to attend a business meeting. And just this morning, my sister complained about how her professors were so strict about deadlines — rejecting her output. Every day, whoever you may be or where ever you are, we are faced with a thousand different choices that may or may not lead to rejection. 

These rejections, whether they be as big as wedding or business proposals or small ones like homework submissions or elevator ones like what I had experienced, can all and will surely make us feel sad or dejected. But was it really meant to make us feel like losers? Was rejection a way for the universe or the higher beings (whatever it is you believe in) to put us in our place and let us realize how much we’re lacking? Or was it meant to teach us a lesson?

I remember my mother telling me about this “Winner’s Mantra”. I don’t entirely remember the words correctly, but to sum it all up, it was telling me and whoever heard the mantra to “never accept rejection. Only winners survive and succeed”. I was sure it was meant to heal hearts broken by rejection and I appreciate my mother’s attempt to make me feel better, but something about it seems off to me. Like it was escaping what happened and making yourself believe that winning and acceptance were the only options. It made rejection look bad, unacceptable and something that is only okay if you’ve already given up on achieving anything. 

That, my friend, is something I cannot accept.

Think about it. If all parents would say this mantra to their children and those children would share it to their friends, wouldn’t it create a community of winners and hard workers? That’s something I would like to think. But if you’re already a veteran of reality and you know how hard life is then you would know that not everyone can be successful and winners. 

For competitions, there is a set of criteria to determine who the champion would be — there can be two champions in some incidents but there can never be three or twelve. For jobs and careers, only one person can be the best, the CEO or president — again there are some corporations with two or three bosses of the same level and power but not every worker can be the boss. Get the drift? There will always be a winner and if there’s a winner, a loser is sure to be around. I can use as many analogies and comparisons as I can and it would only mean one thing. Winners get the prize and losers can cry all night.

So what then can the rejected losers and those not good enough do? Chardy, what the hell is your point? 

Drum roll please. . .

I’m sure you’ve heard this somewhere before. I would just like to re-emphasize it.

You embrace rejection. You learn from it. You make it your own and you use it as a stepping stone to succeed the next time you try. This may seem cheesy or cliché for you but I would gladly and whole heartedly accept this more than pretending that rejection and losing can mean the end of the world for me.

Maybe you wake up ahead of the alarm and go to work 30 minutes earlier than you usually do to get a seat. Maybe you edit the business proposal 3 hundred more times or take a different approach before you submit an output. Maybe rejection was meant to tell you that you can do better. That you’re almost there? Or maybe rejection is telling you that this isn’t for you and that there are other things, people or jobs that you can explore and experience.

I would like to believe that everything that happens in our life was meant to happen. That a strange mechanism somewhere is making sure that we are where we’re supposed to be. Destiny, if we must name it. In my heart, I honestly believe that destiny is real but I also believe that in order for things to happen, we must take destiny into our hands and learn to control our fates. Because who else will?

Phew, this was a really long rant. And i’m pretty sure I didn’t make any sense at all. If you lost interest halfway through what I was saying or you decided to scroll down to the end, here’s the summary to whatever I was trying to say ->

Embrace Rejection. Learn from it, make it your own and use it as a stepping stone to succeed the next time you try. You may not always win and being rejected may be something that’s regular for you but doesn’t that show how much perseverance you have? If you keep on being rejected, doesn’t that mean that you also keep on trying? 

I would rather be the person who always get rejected but keeps on trying and learns from it than a person who wins but never actually get to develop character and attitude. Schools should change their standards. It’s either you succeed or you learn from it. Not fail. Never fail. Don’t you think?

Dealing with Self Doubt

We all have that one person in our lives who just cant seem to stop having it all. He can be your brother, who bags all the academic medals and brings all the glory to the family, your college blocmate who perfects all the tests and is friends with almost everyone at school or your best friend who always seems to be in a relationship. This person, whoever he or she is can be someone you really love or adore but you just can’t seem to kick out the feeling of wanting to be where that person is. Call it jealousy, insecurity or whatever you want. All you really know is that whatever it is you feel towards that person, it is making you feel unsure about yourself— self doubt they call it.

Continue reading “Dealing with Self Doubt”

This Time Last Year


This time last year I was afraid. I was afraid of all the things I still didn’t know, of the people that might harm me and of the things I would lose when I decided to study at a university so far away from home.

This time last year I was juggling between new friends and not-so-new friends; gathering people who, just like me, were alone in a new environment. Testing the waters and trying to learn who would leave after the party or who would stay to clean up the mess.

This time last year I was a fool; thinking I could survive in a competitive school with just the limited knowledge I had.

I pretended that the little time I used for studying was enough to pass my exams and to succeed in my chosen course.

This time last year I was thrilled. Thrilled to try the different things in life I could do and I could learn. The places I could go to and the money I could spend on useless things that would never last, not even taking into consideration the sacrifice that my parents were doing to provide all those luxuries and the work they had to endure.

Continue reading “This Time Last Year”

Broken Hearts and Moving on

Butterflies everywhere

You wake up one day and you realize that you’ve fallen in love. He was dashing, like the ones on television; the captain of the basketball team, Mr. Face of the night at your junior year’s prom. Every girl would swoon and sigh whenever he walks down the hallway and above all else, he could sing. It was like he was taken straight out of your favorite dystopian novels and you just can’t seem to get enough.

It was as if he was taken straight out of those chick flicks that you and your best friends would love to watch on a rainy Monday with all the chips and ice cream and accompanied by the latest album of one of your favorite boy bands. You’ve seen all of his photos at least thrice and know every last girl who has left a comment on each one. You would wait for every single holiday just so you could send him a greeting. Even the slightest sound of his name would make your head tingle and your mind burn with passion.

Making the Move

A little push was all you needed to finally say hello (Oh, and a lot of encouraging from your BFFs). One thing led to another, and suddenly you were hanging out. You didn’t have to wait for a holiday anymore to send him a message and now you could view his photos without having to use your little brother’s account.

He would say hello every time he passes by you and you would hear all the other girls hiss and growl at you like jungle animals ready to attack. You’re friends now! Every little detail that made you love him before can now be enjoyed live via-satellite. You thought you could never ever like anyone as much as you like ice cream and bacon or Ross Geller from FRIENDS. You were wrong. Darling, you were very wrong.

Confession and Consequences

You were in love. . . . . At least, you thought you were.
Long story short, he broke your heart. And wow, he broke it real good. You’ve taken the courage to actually tell him how you feel. Stupid, yes but you would rather let him know, than spend more hours waiting for him to actually look at you for real. Sadly, he doesn’t feel the same. All those nights spent on dreaming about your epic love story and dedicating love songs for him would turn to tweeting movie lines from “One More Chance” and “Starting Over Again.
Your Facebook chat is full of sessions with your friends on how “He doesn’t deserve you” or “It’s his loss, girl”, or all those consolation prize answers, ready to give to someone with a broken heart. Your life was so much better when he wasn’t around, you keep on telling yourself — you were actually okay with just giving love advice to your girl friends, but there he goes, making you fall in love with him, making you believe in happy endings and then suddenly cutting you off. You assumed too much, and girl, trust me, we all did. WE. ALL. DID.

Moving on

A few weeks later…. (Of sobbing, hating and mending)
You wake up one day and everything has changed. He was still unbelievably attractive, he could still sing and yes, he was still the man of your dreams. But unlike before, there was this strong feeling that it would never be the same. The story of your life, it goes on. You are still the Queen and everything still revolves around your life (At least, in your perspective). And of course he is still the Prince Charming, witty and good with his words, white horse and sword unsheathed, obviously beating all the other princes from every kind of fairy tale imaginable — but you just have to accept that he wasn’t your prince, not in this fairy tale, and there’s nothing to do but accept that.
Maybe the timing was off, maybe he just wasn’t sure, maybe in a year or so we could be together. Maybe I’m just thinking too much, maybe I’m pretending to be okay.

Getting your heart broken sucks. And having to think about maybes and other endless possibilities suck even more, especially if they would never ever come true. But what to do? We all go through these, we all get our hearts broken because if we don’t, then we would never learn how to stand up and live on. All the broken pieces were meant to teach us a lesson, whether we have to be careful who we share our hearts with or simply know how to love ourselves. You may have lost the boy but the memories, the lessons and the love you recieved will always be there to strenghten you and keep you going.

Remember: It gets better, whether it be in a month, a year or ten, it will be better. Just you wait dear.

Have you ever gotten your heart broken? If you have, share it with us and tell us what it taught you. Cheers!

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Love, Chardy ❤️

Sleepless, yet full of hope

It’s been 3 days of less than 4 hours of sleep, endless written reports, exams and general assemblies. College students weren’t kidding when they said hell weeks could literally kill you. (PS: There really was a person who died from too much work and not enough sleep.) Caffeine, in every form whether it be coffee or energy drinks have gotten through my veins, possibly flowing with my blood or worse replacing it. It’s utterly ridiculous and very much impossible but darling, what if? I’m actually surprised about not having been sent to the hospital yet, then I remembered, “We’re in college now, we can’t afford to get sick. Only death is an acceptable excuse.”
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