Dealing with Self Doubt

Dealing with Self Doubt

We all have that one person in our lives who just cant…

We all have that one person in our lives who just cant seem to stop having it all. He can be your brother, who bags all the academic medals and brings all the glory to the family, your college blocmate who perfects all the tests and is friends with almost everyone at school or your best friend who always seems to be in a relationship. This person, whoever he or she is can be someone you really love or adore but you just can’t seem to kick out the feeling of wanting to be where that person is. Call it jealousy, insecurity or whatever you want. All you really know is that whatever it is you feel towards that person, it is making you feel unsure about yourself— self doubt they call it.

This Time Last Year

This Time Last Year

This time last year I was afraid. I was afraid of all…


This time last year I was afraid. I was afraid of all the things I still didn’t know, of the people that might harm me and of the things I would lose when I decided to study at a university so far away from home.

This time last year I was juggling between new friends and not-so-new friends; gathering people who, just like me, were alone in a new environment. Testing the waters and trying to learn who would leave after the party or who would stay to clean up the mess.

This time last year I was a fool; thinking I could survive in a competitive school with just the limited knowledge I had.

I pretended that the little time I used for studying was enough to pass my exams and to succeed in my chosen course.

This time last year I was thrilled. Thrilled to try the different things in life I could do and I could learn. The places I could go to and the money I could spend on useless things that would never last, not even taking into consideration the sacrifice that my parents were doing to provide all those luxuries and the work they had to endure.

Sleepless, yet full of hope

Sleepless, yet full of hope

It’s been 3 days of less than 4 hours of sleep, endless…

It’s been 3 days of less than 4 hours of sleep, endless written reports, exams and general assemblies. College students weren’t kidding when they said hell weeks could literally kill you. (PS: There really was a person who died from too much work and not enough sleep.) Caffeine, in every form whether it be coffee or energy drinks have gotten through my veins, possibly flowing with my blood or worse replacing it. It’s utterly ridiculous and very much impossible but darling, what if? I’m actually surprised about not having been sent to the hospital yet, then I remembered, “We’re in college now, we can’t afford to get sick. Only death is an acceptable excuse.”